Hair jokes
Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
Memes
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.
Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
"What's the capital of Texas?" said the brown hair.
"T," said the blonde.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.