There are going so many things through my head. Sadly none of it is a 9mm.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said go away you won’t bring it back
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?" Doctor: "To the morgue." Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor." Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave or does your mortician take it from you?
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere
I go into get a prostate exam, I'm nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
to see who's hanging around.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day....but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
Your like a cloud. When you go away, its a beautiful day.
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again
