A German went to France for a holiday and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
A professor was talking about the american dream. then, he asked the german exchange student if there was a german dream, to which the student replies "we did, but no one liked it."
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons. American: I won't ever see my dog again! Italian: I won't ever make pizzas again! German: Hey, granddad, how have you been?
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her." (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
What do you call a blind German A not see
To be the perfect German you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbles and as blonde as Hitler.
How do you say Brazier in German?
Stop em’ from flopp’n (German accent)
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone"
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, its tactic!
my grandpa killed 100 german soldiers he was the worst german piolet ever
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis.
My friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
i don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me
