Depression Jokes

Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.

When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life

Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".

Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,

I hope you're fucking happy.

What's worse than depression & suicide?

Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.

Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?

My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.

I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."

I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.

When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.

If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.

Help me....

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

What do you call a train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train.

Oh man, I'm depressed.

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.

1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.

Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.

How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?