Depression jokes
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
you.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
Society: :-) I: :') Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :') I: :'D
What is the difference between me and a knife?
The knife has a point.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.
My fucking life, cya.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
Depression sucks, and so do you.
Website: Submit a joke :-)
Me: My life.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.