Breakfast jokes
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!