Blind jokes

What is a blind person's favorite color?

Black.

A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas? AIDS.

I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."

Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?

Because they take Vitamin See!

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..." The room was full of arm amputees.

So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming

"I spy with my little eye..."

- Noting I am blind -

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

What do blind people take for granted? Sight.

In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.

I mean, I don't see why not.

A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.

I don't have any now.

Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.

I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."

Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?

They are always swinging a stick.

So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.