Blind

Blind Jokes

Blind man

A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."

Guy

A blind guy shot up a town.

I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.

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  • Fight

    How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"

    Blind Person

    So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

    When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

    Dark Humor

    Kid: "What's dark humor?"

    Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

    Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

    Mom: "Exactly."

    Sunglasses

    God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

    Car

    Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

    Sandpaper

    I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

    Orange

    Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?

    Because they take Vitamin See!

    Guy

    One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"

    Blind man

    What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?

    “Good evening, ladies.”

    Cheese grater

    I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

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  • Blowjob

    I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

    She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

    The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.