What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?
Fingering A minor.
Worst Jokes Ever
My grandfather died in 9/11.
He was a great pilot.
Why did Beyoncé say, "to the left, to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
Flat Earthers
What does the "f" stand for in orphan?
Family.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
