Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
Worst Jokes Ever
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
The joke is my life.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
