She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
Americans leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
Yo momma's an AISH worker.
I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!
Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.
I don't think it's a good idea for AISH workers to date each other.
If there's ever a shooting at one of those offices, the kid would lose both parents.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
I like my women how I like my bacon.
Well Dunn!!!
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.