My grandad and your hairline go way back.
Worst Jokes Ever
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
Mom clean your room Me no it’s my room and I don’t want to clean it Mom you are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter me Well I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now am I you are the Worst like why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter I’m not her OK I am not her so stop Mom do you know what I pushed you out of my hula 43 minutes do not make me hate you because guess what I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it Me bro
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.
I started working at the AISH office a few months ago.
I felt like I wasn't fitting in. Then my coworker showed me where the pepper spray and emergency contraception pills were.
Now I feel like I belong.
A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."
And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?
Being a bitch.
What do orphans play on Roblox?
Adopt Me.
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
