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Pasta

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screencap of a Pornhub video featuring a man standing in front of six plates of pasta. The title reads "What is the most fuckable pasta? I fucked 6 different pastas to find out!" The video has 134,867 views, an 88% rating, and was posted 10 months ago.

Driver

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A news headline reads: 'Pantless driver dies after being ejected through his sunroof while masturbating to porn on a cellphone when the car crashed and rolled over.'

FBI

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

An image macro with text over a scene from the movie 'Kung Fu Panda' featuring Master Oogway. The top text describes a highly specific and bizarre scenario: 'When the FBI kicks down your door while you beating your meat to the 500 terabytes of polygender midget furry austismic monkey porn that you stole'. The bottom text, which is the character's line, reads: 'My time has come'.

Snitch

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' style book. The text entry from Monday, December, reads, 'Today was fucking dreadful. Me and the boys were just watching porn on the school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful. You know how it goes, though. There's always some bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the fun.' Below the text is a cartoon drawing of a computer lab. Three boys are at computers. A girl, Patty, points at one boy (Greg) and shouts, 'GREG IS WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, MR JIZZLE!' Another boy, Greg's friend, yells, 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' The text continues below the drawing: 'The next time I see Patty, I swear to god, that snitch is fucking dead.'

Divorce

Hgfdfrgt · 3 years ago

Bruhh found out

A screenshot of a Google search for 'chinese fart porn' is overlaid with an AirDrop notification from 'Mom'. The AirDrop message reads: "Your father and I are getting a divorce," and has two minions in the image.

Animal

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

View

R3Y · 1 year ago

aint no way 💀💀💀

A man wearing a Spurs jersey is featured in a YouTube video titled "Top 50 Porn Sites" by EatDatPussy445. The video has 227 views and is 2 minutes old. There are sports flags, and a Funko figure, in the background. The word Cardinals is visible on a flag. There is also a flag with "SAN BA" on it.

Hand

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a pink-shirted man tells a blue-hoodie man, "Oh, I don't shake hands. I'm a germaphobe." In the second panel, the pink-shirted man asks, "How 'bout a fist-bump!" as they perform a fist-bump. In the third panel, a green-shirted man approaches the blue-hoodie man, who is walking away, and asks, "Dude! Was that anal-fisting-porn-star legend, Johnny Shit-Knuckles?!" The pink-shirted man looks on in surprise. In the fourth panel, the pink-shirted man has a look of extreme horror and disgust, realizing who he just fist-bumped.

Hero

tabs1528 · 2 years ago

A multi-panel comic shows a group of men discussing an Overwatch hero, followed by a panel of the hamster character, and a final panel of the men looking shocked. The text in the first panel says: "Ok, we need to make an Overwatch hero people won't use as porn material." The text in the second panel says "Perfect!". The last panel contains the text "10 Seconds Later".

Doll

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A top-down view of six pastel-colored plush dolls, known as Labubu dolls, arranged on a light wooden surface. The dolls have various facial expressions, including smiles, closed eyes, and mischievous grins. An overlay text reads, "I hate this genre of people." Below the image, a comment from 'benkelemete8' is visible, stating, "Y'all low-key sleeping on Labubu porn."

Voice

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet says: "it's so surreal hearing my own voice in Pornhub ads before videos." The second tweet says: "So your the woman interrupting my gay porn" with a picture of Goku below.

Google

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

The image displays several stacked Google search result windows. The first visible window shows an image of lettuce with the search query 'lettuce pieces - Google Search'. The second shows ham slices with 'ham slices - Google Search'. The third shows a slice of bread with 'slice of bread - Google Search'. The fourth, partially visible, shows the search query 'chinese fart porn - Google Search'.

Pornhub

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a screenshot from Pornhub with a 'Flag This Video' dialog box open. The options are listed as 'Inappropriate content', 'Underage', 'Video does not play', 'Spam or misleading', and 'Other'. The 'Other' option is selected and the text box for the reason says 'Nudity and Sexual content'. Underneath this, there are three wolves, with two looking nonchalant labeled as "Pornhub employees", and one looking excited, labeled "Me".

Sex

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot from Pornhub displaying a post. The post asks, "If you have sex on Halloween, is it a monster mash or a graveyard smash?" A reply below states, "It's only a graveyard smash if she's had an abortion."

Friend

Ohiobootytickler · 2 years ago

New friend new, new Website, new child porn

A person dressed as Barney the Dinosaur is hugging a child in front of a tan brick wall.

Wheel

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context

A screenshot of a website called "wheelofnames.com" with a wheel. The sections of the wheel contain: priest, prostitute, autistic, racist, transphobic, porn, woman, and shooting. To the right of the wheel there is a list with the same words. The text on top of the wheel says "The world stands with Ukraine". The website offers a feature to spin the wheel from within Discord.

Day

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of comments on the website Pornhub. The first comment by user Jj75312 says "1 like = 1 day without fapping" and has 4597 likes. The next comment by MmmYeah98 says "Imao" and has 1 like. The last comment by QWBXEU says "12 years bruh" and has 20 likes.

Pasta

Kristian‽ · 2 years ago

for big dave fan

A man is presenting six plates with different pasta dishes on a table, next to a vertical ranking board. The text says: "What is the most Fuckable Pasta? I Fucked 6 different Pastas to Find Out!" and is presented on a Pornhub interface.

Gay porn

Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A yellow emoji face with wide, slightly anxious eyes, a wide open mouth, and eyebrows raised in mild confusion. Next to the face, a yellow hand is shown making a gesture where the index and middle fingers are crossed, with curved lines indicating motion. Text below the image reads 'watching gay porn in public but doing this the entire time so people know I'm straight.'. There is a Shutterstock watermark.

Passion

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The first user states they have finished watching "The Passion" and are sad and posts a message of hope about Christ's death giving people eternal salvation, accompanied by an image of hands holding bread and a cup with the text "Take this and eat". The second user replied to that message stating that the first user posted rape porn three hours ago.

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