Newest Week Jokes - Page 8 - Worst Jokes Ever

son:mom can i get 100$ for a week mom:why did u need 100$ for a week son:am going on a date and i need 100$ for a week pls mom:no no no no no no no no no no no no no go on ur date now u got 1$ so go son and u got 0.00.00$ mom

"Welcome to mama mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last weeks lost is this weeks sauce."

I just a had a birthday party last week at my crib i invited two fine beautiful looking women one was skinny and her was kelly and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita both of them came by i told Chiquita only kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday you can't you too fat and clumsy and i don't have any food or drinks for you so see ya later nutty professor.

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks It's my fort knight

When a guy falls it hurts them there when a women falls it hurts more.

A woman walks in to a dentists office sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the woman replies last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out.

A lady walks in to a dentists office, sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the lady replies; last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out

Type this in your calculator: 5 days a week (type in 5), 6 different classes (type in 6), 7 hours a day (type in 7), x 2 semesters (type in 2), = flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

A man walks into an AA meeting and ask for a roadmap.

The next time you get a sack call pick up the phone and say “welcome to Pete’s pizzeria and abortion clinic your loss is next weeks sauce how may we help you

2 weeks here

What do dicks and popsicles have in common?

They both like to be sucked on and they sometimes choke you.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

lol 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...

J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*

A Joking keggar is where i get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.

Ok, yall ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo

What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?

A DG (dee gay)

What does lava use when it can't walk properly?

A volCANEo

What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalitized?

They start a HIGHot (say it like hiot _riot_)

What is Satan's favorite DJ?

MarshHELLo

What do neck breakers use?

Snapchat

What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmellows?

Instagraham crackers

Is this the last joke?

What is similar between a dog and my ex?

They are both commonly known as bitches

What number has a flu from a pig?

Nine flu (swine flu)

What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?

BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Who is the best anime girl?

Well its pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank

Why did Sally get caned?

Because old men hurriCANED.

That was all

OR WAS IT?

Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because these jokes are not funny

Heres why the chicken crossed the road...

The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road.The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening, and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road, and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit was full of the chicken nonsense, and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.

The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal, and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.

The End (hope you enjoyed, i was bored so i made this shit...)

A boy asked his dad for a some money to buy an ice-cream with. So he went to an icecream van. Whilst he was in the queue 2 boys asked him what flavour he was getting he told them strawberry. The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The icecream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice-cream for free. When he got home his dad also asked what flavour he bought the boy said strawberry. His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy confused walked down the street and was stopped buy the police who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice-cream. The boy said thats me and the policeman arrested him. A week later in court the boy was on trial. The judge asked, ''can you tell me what were you doing on the fith of may''(the day he was arrested) the boy said I was eatimg ice-cream. Yhe judge decided he was innocent. On the way out the judge asked him what the flavour was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course he answered with strawberry the judge horrified realised he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately he couldn't change what had happened so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road

What does a pillow say when you live for a week don't forget me

Daughter: So, I got my period. Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying! Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying? Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to the another day. Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically) Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless. Obviously.)