Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down βfuneralβ? No? Shame, it was real fun
One way to not pick up girl is to say, βare you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you.β I tried it on a girl and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other
Crying babies are like parties, No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctorβs office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor βDoc, what should I do? My arm is broken!β The doctor then looks at him and says βHave you tried icing?β
My friend and I were at the mall, and decided to try on some necklaces. He said l think you should get the one over there, I do, I look at my friend and heβs wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it, I asked him did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?
in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys
Why donβt old people have sex
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old
my brother tried to hit this guy with a plan and but hit the twin towers
Yo mama so short when she tried sniffing cocaine she couldnβt get high
Yo mamma so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldnβt
Yo mamma so short that when tried to sniff meth she couldnβt get high
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem.