Thought

Thought Jokes

On Paxomedy channel I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting. I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dag down the issue it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch and that was the beginning of their fight and wierd enough the Cock won! I went to congratulate the winner but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldnt have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!

Person 1 " I love KFC" Person 2 "yeah, me too!" Person 1 " How many have you gotten?" Person 2 " How am I supposed too remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?" Person 1 " Chicken? What chicken, what do you think KFC stands for?" Person 2 "? Kentucky Fried Chicken?" Person 1 " What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children." Person 2 " BLOODY WHATT??"

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

as i am from south carolina i just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about

them slaves taking credit for everything

guy talking to an Indian therapist

he had a red dot and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said

"I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle"

I went home one day a see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what going on my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guest what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on EBay, The Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

btw friend here also wants to do suicide

friend:why did i cross the road??? me:to get to the other side. friend:true!

friend:hey lets go hang out at the forest today! me:ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* friend:hey atleast we did it!

friend:whats the best thing about me? me:you will eventually end. friend:hmmmmmm . . . true!

friend:what historical time influenced you the most? me:the great depression

if i could be an object id be glass because im see through and i can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!

my parents sometimes say im their sunshine! . . . because im painful if you look at me.

teacher:what does km/s mean? me+like almost all of the class:*in unison* it means kill myself but misspelled

friend:whats the best way to end a game? me:with death friend: . . . hmmm now that you think about it yeah! thats the best way!

when your about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you cant litter there

google says that your about 75% water but im make of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress

brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more

how do you keep weeds away? just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. problem solved.

when you take antidepressants but they dont work it will just make you more depressed and thats a fact

a bored depressed suicidal person:*sees a dying person* dying person:p-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* bored depressed suicidal person:hmmmm ur an ambulance dying person:*manages to get back up* bored depressed suicidal person:oooooohh goddddd dying person:*in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~

roses are red inside im dead i have crippling depression some one pls shoot my head

when you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they dont you:*panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*

the only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself

a made up story starting now so i went to school as usual theres a school shooting all the depressed suicidal people:*crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME a made up story starting ending

in this one the friend isnt suicidal friend:wanna play a game? me:life wait no a game has a meaning friend: . . . *crickets* friend:calls suicide hotline me:wait no!!!!!

me:*has crippling depression* *asks mom why i was born* mom:hmmm i think i was drunk and on a lotta drugs me:hmmm tysm *gets the rope* mom:*making hanging puns* me:*hurries to the trash truck*

me:at this point ive lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that i dont struggle with it now, im good at it and its all normal

hope you enjoyed

my friend lives in a caravan park his parents named him money because they thought it was a type of currency