What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.
Why can't you starve in the desert? -- Because of all the sand which is there.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? -- Because they are really good at it.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? -- A pool table.
What's red and bad for your teeth? -- A brick.
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- Mumbai!
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
