we all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when : 1 he staring mighty hard at yall. 2 when your friend know you gon get your *ss beat. 3 when your friend say he not gon jump in ( you know he lying.
When I have a staring contest, I always win. Everyday, I see blind people who hate me.
Why does Wednesday Addams never blink?
Me: good night everyone My friends and family: night Me: *gets in coffin* My family: *stares at my friends* you aren't going to do something?!? My friends: *to my family* nope, this is normal.
yo mama so pretty ? she could get in a car crash because boys"are staring at her
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.
Two people stood in one room, the first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I hadda punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
This disabled girl stared rolling after me so I ran to the stairs
after standing in line staring at mcdonalds menu for 17 minutes] me: ok im ready. can you help me not be sad all the time
i swear everytime i walk past a guy they stare at my ass i always keep wondering why it hurts so much
my friend died me and my other besitei stares sining the coffin song my bestie in the coffin why are you not sad why are you still alive
My son came up to me and said “mom, where are your parents?” I stared in confusion i said “in a far place.” He asked “In and orphanage?”
I suck his dick with a smile for hours at a time Stare at his nutsack while I hold back my cum tonight And when he ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle" (And when they ask me what position I say, "Doggystyle") But the fact is I can never get off of his fat dick And all that they can ask is (Ask is, ask is) "I just wanna smack it" (I just wanna smack it)
Here's what the fact is He can put my asshole in a casket (Yuh, yuh, yuh) Asshole in a casket
So you can see I'm cummin' But you won't see me nut And I'll just keep on suckin', I'm good (Yeah, I'm good) And if he sucks my glizzy I will become dizzy But it keeps us busy, I'm good (Yeah, I'm good) I've been twerking for boys for so long I'vе been flirting with boys for so long My jaw's been hurting for so, so long it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't
dad- HONEY
mom- what
dad- all of the broken condums are on the bed
mom- WHAT!?
children- *staring*
