Slide

Slide Jokes

(First Person) :Knock Knock, Who there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, Knock Knock, who there, time to make a move, slayin all then demons and we gotta move in too. (Second Person): Knock Knock, (1st p): who there, let me talk to you, be careful where you stepin out cause you aint bullet proof, Knock Knock, who there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didnt come to hoop.

I might slide up to your block with intelligence I'm a genius with a glock There's some relevance Took his chain, took his rocks Took his sediments There's no cap inside my speech No impediments Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared Why didn't he buss it back?

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.

Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.

At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.

While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.

Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!

Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.

Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.

A Good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

3 friends go to a water park and meet a genie. “You each get one wish.” “When you get to the top of the slide you shall scream your wish as you go down.” The first man went down the slide and screamed “COCA COLA” and the pool was fuelled with CocaCola. The next ugly ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams “C-M&MS” as if he wasn’t just about to say cum-then the pool was full of cu-⟟ mean M&Ms. The last horny ass bitch is so excited he says “WEEE!” Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pull wasn’t full of Dildos./j

Three kids one day found a magicle slide.There was a sign next to it that said,"Slide down and your wish will come true."The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river.He landed in a chocolate river.When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money.He landed in a pile of money.Finally,the 3rd kid slid down,and he said,"WEEEE!!!!!!"

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says "what ever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

The first boy goes down the slide shouting "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!".

Q.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A. A seatbelt.

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever" my dick cooed. I looked down at it a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace