What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine
What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health? -A baseball bat
What is the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain ? The wall behind him.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. what am I?
answer: a stamp
Q: What did the Ice berg say to the Titanic? A: I'd hit that.
What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What do you call a singing laptop? -- A Dell.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? -- Because it has a million degrees.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
