A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that. "new around here?" said the bartender "nah, been here awile" said the robot Bartender "you can talk?" robot "yeah, pretty cool huh." bartender "why do you want a martini" robot "oh, i'm just in the mood for one, you know?" The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk. The robot seems to be just like a normal human, "wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender "the top minds in the world." said the robot. The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..." Bartender, "what?" "Why did you read this entire story, it does not have a punchline, I just wasted your time, Get bamboozled nerd!"
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
if a dog made a computer it would have a mega bite
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
unpopular opinion about programming but, Uncaught TypeError: Cannot read property 'myUnpopularOpinion' of undefined.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!
I just watched a program about beavers. it was the worst dam program I've ever seen.
One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
yo mama so stupid, that she thought NASA is a GAMING PROGRAM!!!!
What do inner city schools and database have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
This isn't a joke.
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "you mathematicians don't know your limits."
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
why did the robot cross the road?
because he was programmed by the chicken!
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
