What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette
at-my-most-fear i shit my paints
Did you hear about the dead artist
Too many strokes
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" Asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal
Always practice safe sex: paint an x on the sheep that kick.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house? - in Washington D.C.
A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint...my....house.’
How do you confuse a blonde paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said "what happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle, the father replied with "you know what happened, you were there." the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.
Why did Bob Ross die
Because the paint brush stabbed him
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip of the paper and original plaster
put on fresh plaster and wall paper
paint it (if you want)
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply
What is blue but smells like red paint? - Blue paint
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?
