Newest Night Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking. But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

If a blind person can’t see then, do they sleep?

They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep

Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night she’s back in bed

Tonights gonna be a good good night

Thomas Edison: *invents light bulb*
Moths in 1879:

Fill it out if u want

#THINGS I HAVE DONE PROJECT
O Been in Love
O Have Anxiety
O Broken Hearts
O Felt Insecure
O Been Ignored
O Been Embarrassed
O Stolen
O Lied
O Been Heartbroken
O Kissed
O Had a Boyfriend
O Had a Girlfriend
O Cheated
O Been Cheated On
O Had Sex
O Cried Myself to Sleep
O Stayed Up All Night
O Smiled
O Laughed
O Fake Smiled
O Been Verbally Abused
O Been Physically Abused
O Been Sexually Abused
O Hated Someone
O Hated Myself
O Gotten a Tattoo
O Gotten Piercings
O Traveled
O Been Stung
O Broken Bones
O Skipped School
O Want/Wanted to Die
O Been Depressed
O Binged
O Failed a Class
O Purged
O Starved
O Gotten All A's
O Gotten Suspended
O Gotten Expelled
O Been to Jail
O Been Cyber-bullied
O Been Bullied
O Been a Bully
O Have/Had Anorexia
O Have/Had Bulimia
O Cut Myself
O Burned Myself
O Drank
O Smoked
O Done Drugs
O Have/Had an Addiction
O One Month Clean
O Attempted Suicide
O Know Someone Who Has
O Lost Someone to Suicide
O Overdosed
O Hallucinated
O Been Hospitalized
O Seen a Therapist
O Told Your Parents
O Have Other Mental Disorders
O Have Other Medical Problems
O Take Meds
O Hide Scars wockalbin
O Have a Secret Account
O Relapsed
O Other Forms of Self-harm O Accepted Myself
@violetsunlight7

At night time,in Africa,it's known as the darkest country,till this day I still wonder why.

A man's daughter comes home from school and asked her dad if she can borrow the car. The father replies, no its too late at night. The daughter says cmon dad. I'll do anything. The dad says OK suck my dick. The daughter says no that's disgusting. The dad says you want the car. You said you'll do anything. The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth. She stops and says eww dad your dick smells like shit. The dad replies yeah well your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago.

One knight a guy asked his wife were she wanted to eat she said Chinese food so he flew her to china the next night he asked her what she wanted to eat she said Indian food so he flew her to India the last night he said what do you want to eat and she said she wanted nothing so he flew her to Africa

Cleverbot being honest and a bit confused. 😂

It's okay, most people do feel like they're mean
sometimes, even if they're not.
Well good night!
It's 2:40 pm.
Here it is 11:17.
I need filter when I speak, because I can be
unintentionally rude sometimes. I'm just too honest.
That's fked. How do I know who is you and who is
me? share!
say to cleverbot...
|||
E

Titanic: ight I need a place to CRASH tonight

Mum finds out child cheats in math test. Mom says " there is no cheating in this house". Child " then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night? "

Me: I been up all night, no sleep—

The lie detector I didn’t know I had: lie.

Me: stfu! I’m just singing!

Lie detector: you literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!

Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!

lie detector: it’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM....... You get waken up at 7:00 AM...... you only sleep two hours......

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse. One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well parter!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”