Guys.... you need to ketchup with the time....
Why did the computer go to bed? It needed to crash.
What does cake and baseball have in common? They both need a batter.
Roses are red Violets are blue Your wife needs Jon grudon too.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant. Dad: well is she already part of the family? Son: Yes, why? Dad: then there’s no need to be worried.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist after being there for a while, the dentist ask “ How of do you floss your teeth? The jap said “ after every meal”, when they finish up the dentist turns to him and “says you need to floss your eyes more, I can still see them”
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023
2023: GO BACK NOW! THEIRS 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
Im at my happiest point in life im dating someone thats autistic, and i was just saying i needed someone special in my life.
Instead of the line 'This girls on fire', my friend can relate to 'The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the fuck out'
dad: "honey ill be right back i need to get some papers " me: "ok" falls asleep.. *wakes up in an adoption center* damn it was those kind of papers..
One day I was very happy, I managed to win lottery and receive free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia! Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived towards me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why is he doing this only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruin my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
