what is six inches,goes in your mouth,and it's fun when it vibrates.A TOOTH BRUSH.
what at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth and its more fun if it vibrates ? a toothbrush
It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
Shut your goofy ahh mouth
Why don’t I shut myself all the time. I can only fit so many pares of kid in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop, it went a little bit like this:
Me; dude, leave her alone. Him; beat it b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me; ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis Him; *walks away*
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: si Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
I am not telling you twice your mouth stinks so go burns your house down like a crazy mad women and I will call the cop like WTH because you are so fat
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
A 9 year old year girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breath as she waits for the doctor to come. The doctor finally comes and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum Your anus looks like my mums bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo. I also just wanted to add that a goonies anus looks like my nans mouth
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave uncle Willie an idea
Timmy: stupid motherfucker Jimmy: wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth Timmy: starts crying Jimmy: ah fuck I did it again
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry) but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth)
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals or cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth. I'll let u decide
