Loss

Loss Jokes

The Pastor of the local church calls on the congregation for volunteers for Bible sales....

A gentleman with a severe stutter approaches the pastor after Sunday service.

"I-i-i... I-i-id like to v-v-v-v-vol-vol-vo-volunteer to s-s-s-se-sell b-b-b-bi-b-bibles, f-fff-f-f-fa-fa-father..."

"That would be wonderful, my son. We'll start you with one box. Please go door to door throughout the community and sell what you can. You can give these away, but donations are always accepted since the word of God is the most important message."

"T-t-t-t-th-th-th-thank you f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father... i-i-i-i-i-i-I'll s-s-s-s-se-se-sell what I c-c-c-cc-can..."

The pastor sends the man on his way.

About an hour later to the pastors surprise, the stuttering man returns with an empty box and $200 cash.

The pastor is completely shocked, but is ultimately filled with joy as the church could use the funds more than ever, not to mention the community is that much closer to God's message.

So without asking questions, he happily sends the stuttering man on his way with 2 more boxes of Bibles.

"T-t-t-t-t-t-th-th-th-th-tha-thank you f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father, i-i-i-i-i-i-I'll be back s-s-s-s-s-soo-soo-soo-soon."

Exactly 2 hours later the stuttering man returns, only this time carrying 2 empty boxes and $500 cash.

The pastor is at a loss for words. So much so, that he's questioning whether the stuttering man is coming across these funds legitimately.

He pulls the man aside and asks, "Son, while myself and the church thank you for your efforts in selling these bibles, we want to make sure not to take advantage of common people. Most of my volunteers take upwards of a month to sell a single box of Bibles, and you've sold 3 boxes in a few hours. May I ask what you're telling these people when you approach their home?"

"W-w-w-w-we-we-well f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father it-it-it-it-its qui-q-q-q-qui-quite s-s-s-s-s-s-si-sim-simple."

"I ju-ju-ju-ju-just ask the-the-th-th-th-the-them if th-th-th-th-the-the-they'd l-l-l-l-li-li-li-li-lik-like to b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bu-bu-buy a b-b-b-bi-bi-bi-bible or if they w-w-w-w-w-wa-wa-wa-wan-want me to re-re-re-rea-read it to them."

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, 'why are you crying my son?' 'my parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died,' 'it's just not your day today is it' Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

One day at school I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school I made fun of an orphan.

Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 off a bet

They betted $100 that they won’t crash when they went through the twin towers

one day my dog died because we couldn't find him then we got a cat on the same day then my cat went missing and when I was crying we heard are Asian neighbour was having a party then we went over and i saw my dog and cat on the grill and they eat them. in front of me saying yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well.

An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where shall he go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the secretary, “Where is home room?” The secretary then said which home room number did it say and it showed 1. The orphan then starting to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.

one day my friend said: i want tacos from Katie's, you? and i said no thanks and she left i never saw her again, today i remember that i saw her name on TV as one of the victems of suicide, then i remember her and I's moto: if i'm dieing you dieing with me you got no chouse, i NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.