Newest Left Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

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Faisal Saeed Al Mutar
20 hrs.
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It must be incredibly frustrating as an Islamic terrorist not to have your views
and motives taken seriously by the societies you terrorize, even after you
have explicitly and repeatedly stated them. Even worse, those on the
regressive left, in their endless capacity for masochism and self-loathing,
have attempted to shift blame inwardly on themselves, denying the terrorists
even the satisfaction of claiming responsibility.
It's like a bad Monty Python sketch:
"We did this because our holy texts exhort us to to do it."
"No you didn't."
"Wait, what? Yes we did..."
"No, this has nothing to do with religion. You guys are just using religion as a
front for social and geopolitical reasons."
"WHAT!? Did you even read our official statement? We give explicit Quranic
justification. This is jihad, a hely crusade against pagans, blasphemers, and
disbelievers."
"No, this is definitely not a Muslim thing. You guys are not true Muslims, and
you defame a great religion by saying so."
Huh!? Who are you to tell us we're not true Muslims!? Islam is literally at the
core of everything we do, and we have implemented the truest most literal
and honest interpretation of its founding texts. It is our very reason for being."
"Nope. We created you. We installed a social and economic system that
alienates and disenfranchises you, and that's why you did this. We're sorry."
"What? Why are you apologizing? We just slaughtered you mercilessly in the
streets. We targeted unwitting civilians - disenfranchisement doesn't even
enter into it!"
"Listen, it's our fault. We don't blame you for feeling unwelcome and lashing
out."
"Seriously, stop taking credit for this! We worked really hard to pull this off,
and we're not going to let you take it away from us."
"No, we nourished your extremism. We accept full blame."
"OMG, how many people do we have to kill around here to finally get our
message across?"

a suicidal boy went up too a tree and said "hi". The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

In the realm where words wander free, A tale unfolds, unbounded and carefree, Jayden, a curious soul, embarks on a quest, An enigmatic journey, where desires manifest.

Marching through the corridors of cyberspace, He delves into realms of passion and grace, With a click and a glance, a world awakes, As pixels dance, his curiosity takes.

In the dimly lit room, shadows play, Jayden surrenders to this clandestine display, A voyeur to fantasies, unspoken and raw, He gazes upon screens, an uncharted draw.

Whispers of temptation echo in his ears, As he navigates through fantasies and fears, The allure of the forbidden, an intoxicating call, Jayden's senses entangled, in a mesmerizing thrall.

But amidst the symphony of moans and sighs, A realization dawns, awakening his eyes, For behind the allure, a truth is revealed, In the depths of this world, a heart left concealed.

Within the flickering scenes of pleasure's masquerade, Lies a yearning for connection, a soul's crusade, Jayden, march forward, beyond the screens, Seek the embrace of love, where true beauty gleams.

For within the realm of flesh and bone, A deeper fulfillment can truly be known, In the tender touch, in the warmth of a kiss, Lies a bliss beyond pixels, a love that won't dismiss.

So, let Jayden march, with newfound grace, From the fantasies that once held his embrace, For the world awaits, with its wonders untold, Where love reigns supreme, a story yet to unfold.

In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.

The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.

The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.

The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.

So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs aren’t. I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately... but I hope it’s you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.

You’re so ugly I can see why your dad left now

We stop by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us “I am wan kin the manager.” So we just left in disgust!

Sayori: *dies* Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊" MC: "😨"

There were four people who went to land... only three returned..... Why??? They left someone for memories!!!!

The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: I killed your horse... The second quickly left and when he returned he said: We have poisoned all your cows

My son wore his new 'Go Vegan' Hoodie for the first time today and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked & spat on!!!! And he's not even left the house yet!!!

K

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What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross? Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter Vacation.

Attack on Deadpool

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!