An old professor’s class used, to begin with, a dirty joke. Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began. When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of wh*res in Newfoundland?” With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."
I asked the gym instructor
"can you teach me to do the splits?",
"How flexible are you?" He asked
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
“Okay guys, watch very carefully because i can only show you this demonstration once.”
Why does an Orphan never learn how to drive cause he has no dad to help him
i'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to new york so i flew them to new york and hit the towers that was a tragic story
I took my son to a drivers school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident" (I gotta go pay him out of jail)
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, " What is a tragedy?" One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "if my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy." A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!" "Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
Chuck Norris gets paid 2m dollars a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth”
3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn't pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
Why did the leper fail his driving test? He left his foot on the clutch
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.
I'm taking a taking a guitar lesson at school, my band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar, i Asked him if that was a fret
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
