Newest Horror Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

I be ready like come on mfs

After watching horror movie and
you hear spoon fall down in
the kitchen. 00000
Satan is
that you??!
Repason
Cason cute and story

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger having common

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked

The ham is in fact processed

"Is that ham processed? If it's
processed, I don't want it."
Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab
of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or
connective tissue. It is an amalgamation
of the meat of several pigs, emulsified,
liquefied, strained, and ultimately
inexorably joined in an unholy meat
obelisk. God had no hand in the creation
of this abhorrence. The fact that this
ham monolith exists proves that God is
either impotent to alter His universe or
ignorant to the horrors taking place in
His kingdom. This prism of pork is more
than deli meat. It is a physical
declaration of mankind's contempt for the
natural order. It is hubris manifest.
We also have a lower sodium variety if you
would prefer that.
bu

Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator
1.Stand silently and motionless in the corner,
facing the wall, without getting off.
2.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and
while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in
there?"
3.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to
pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
4.Leave a box in the corner, and when some-
one gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
5.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a
while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
6.Stare at another passenger for a while, then
announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and
back away slowly.
7.Greet everyone with a warm handshake and
ask them to call you Admiral.
8.Dress up as the devil and then ask other
people as they get in, "Going down?"
9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you
have an appointment?"
10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a
more suitable host body."

Guide to surviving Scream(1996)

The Rules of Surviving a Horror
Movie in Scream (1996)
According to Wes Craven's horror slasher movie Scream
(1996), these are the rules to surviving a horror movie:
1. Never say "who's there".
2. Don't have sex.
3. Don't drink or do drugs.
4. Never say "I'll be right back".
5. Everyone is a suspect.
6. Never go out to investigate a strange noise.
Bonus: The supposedly dead killer may come back to
life in the end for one final scare.
@horror_psychology_facts

Freddy: Im coming for u >:)

Me:god no help

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

They should bring Michael Jackson beck from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie

They made a horror movie about the Chinese president It's called Winnie the Pooh Blood And Honey

what do the titanic and the sixth sense have in common

icy dead people

imagine a white van. now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombre on and his arm out the window and on the side of the van it says free candy. but there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back

What game do zombies 🧟‍♀️ like to play?

Corpse and Robbers

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends on 2 came out where are the others?

(getting brutaly murdered)

When you try to sneak something

CROSS: "KISSING DREAM
EITHER DUST, KILLER, HORROR, OR ERROR:
Seap
CAUGHT IN 4K.
YOU AIN'T SLICK, BRO.
imgflip.com

Isn't having Depersonalization mean that your like the animatronics off of fnaf/five night of freddies (if you don't know what Depersonalization is look it up)

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

2 sentence horror story’s go

"Humpty dumpty sat on the wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall.... All the kings horses and all the kings men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."

"rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows

the cradle will rock when the bough breaks

the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all

rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall

and down will come baby cradle and all"

Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?

I'M GONNA FINALLY PUT A STOP TO THE FUCKING DRAMA. I saw people bullying other people for years, Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake JUST DO JOKES! PLEASE! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! JUST MAKE JOKES PEOPLE! That is why it’s called “Worst JOKES ever” not “Bully people FOREVER” SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET TO JOKING! JESUS! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread HATE AND FOOLISHNESS FROM PEOPLE WHO DON’T EVEN KNOW BETTER THINGS TO DO BUT TO HATE ON STUPID STRANGERS FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE FUCKING WORLD!!! “Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please. Stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.

Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!