Newest Homeless Jokes - Page 6

A starving homeless kid ask me for food

I said "sorry,my plate is full"

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets. He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

why is the homeless homeless?

because it's homeless

What do you call a homeless orphan

Homo-less

What does the child with no hands got for christmas? Unknown he hasn't opened it yet.

What does a homeless man in new york got for christmas? Hypothermia.

a friend texts to another "hey", they reply, "What's up?". The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "the sky!", but the other friend intervenes and says, "no it's the ceiling!". To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "unless you're homeless or six feet under."

I adopted a dog. its gone now. At least homeless people in china are not starving.

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."

His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"