I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.. Guess what? It had no home button.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late.. Guess who's late now..
One time, I was working this steamroller, when the guy who I squashed farted
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence
When the airplane saw the twin towers, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it guess we will go through it."
i threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters, the teacher was upset, i guess they dont read the news
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken) did anyone laugh at that or?? Augh i guess im alone
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card and we live far and we my mom was hungry. A guy and his friend had a car and k us if we were lost. We said no we have no ride, no money and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each so I was driving the car and my mom gave the both guys a blowjob. We had to get out the car to look for something then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I ask what the bad news that they're not taking us home so I ask what the good news they told me that they feed my mom and drove off. I guess where we i guess the left us wsnt long walk and my mom wasm't hungry no more.
Guess whos parents didn't survive?
Livs's parents
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse. One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well parter!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair
Guess who likes vegetables now?
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humour.
Stacy:: honey I'm kinda new to texting what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, lots of love I guess
Margert: Stacy are you there, I don't know if you heard but Amber and her 3 kids were killed in a car crash this morning I'm in total shock
Stacy: lol
The short kid came earlier than i thought , Guess he came with such short notice
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said ‘ a smile’
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school
Going to school is mandatory in this country
Can you guess my plan?
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
So I saw a bag full children near a dumpster, I guess we know where the Orphans are when the parents didn’t want them..
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic Priest comes along, otherwise the Priest will have new sex toys..
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes. I guess they're whoreibble
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess" I said 215kg, he didnt find it as funny
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone"
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
