Female Jokes

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job, and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries

A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.

They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.

The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.

The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.

The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water and beat the shit out of him every single day.

When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.

The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything, I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."

The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get and yet he won't speak!".

The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"

The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!".

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office.

Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately, he quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately, she quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?

My penis.

How do you embarrass a female archaeologist? Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.

12 look at your shoes 34 they look better than yours 56 you have no friends 78 you look like a ape 9 10 dont you like men 11 12 hell naw i like females

👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🙌 😮 🫢 🤔 💭 💡 🤣 😄 😃 😀 😊 😍 💘 🕳 What is the difference between paying $50.00 to received a anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to received a anonymous blow job from a able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole? If you give $50.00 to received a anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00 💸 😁

Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual? Because physically challenged gay men do it best 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend? One bails her hay and the other heils her bae.

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL

Who is the definition of a natural born cocksucker A bisexuality male or a homosexual male or a bisexual female or a heterosexual female ? A physically disabled heterosexual male

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine and he said to her ... "Hey baby, we should bang sometime."

women will always be superior to men. after all, they are FEmale. (fe- iron. male-man.)