Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) It’s the police ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver he’s dead.
A 6 year old girl decides to get baptized, she walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her In the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl was drowned and died... later on when the pastor was better and thrown in jail. All he had to say to the mortified family was “well, at least she’s in heaven!”
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with Cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The non stop dancer". It is very funny but it is made even funnier by Dudley moors, drunken and stoned laughter through the song. One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio but they are adlibbing and extremely drunk.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
