A panda walks into a restaurant orders some food and eats it. Once he was done he shoots the waiter then leaves. Police and detectives arrive at the scene, they ask the waiter "who did this to you? what happened?" The waiter replies "A panda, eats shoots and leaves"
"Do you have a noose" Nose?- "Yeah, nose- nose... I heard your's was stuffed lately- haha." I actually smell something- Like a corpse Is it you?- "No." *Dying on the inside has never been so detectable
Mother, father and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie. During dinner time: Father: Son what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: okay! okay! I watched porn dad. Dad: what? you watched porn? you are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 yrs of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said "sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
hehe
so an emo shot themselves and so the detective decides to ask why. but it just goes in 1 ear and out the other.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website, when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised. Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates
facial detection? more like racial detection
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂
What do you call an alligator detective?? An investi- gator
what did the owl thats a detective say? hoo did it?
What was the most famous skeleton detective in the world. Sherlock-bones
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
why do potatoes make good detectives because tey keep there eyes peeled
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the reciepe?
In a detective novel.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
he scratched his face up detective that did It did I do that
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective Sherlock bones!!!!!
Joke:What do you call a gay alligator detective? Answer:An Investigator
Watch Key/Peele "Detective"
When I hired a asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong- I see he so I climb up tree, he knock on door and she let in he, she talks to he, he talks to she, he undress she, she undress he, she play with he, he play with she, I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see..... No fee.
