Daughter

Daughter Jokes

Me:Mom can I have some make up. Mom: no. You are beautiful just the way you. Me:So that’s why you were make up.

A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.

She gets home eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something, not sure what she said the girl replies with "ok".

The young teen was gonna head to bed wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight she lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say "Hunny I'm home", she doesn't bother to say ok.

Later when she decides to sleep she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door that she lost her keys. :)

-Dark_Humor

So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

1st daughter: Dad I;m lesbian! Dad: oh OK! 2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian Dad: WTF does any 1 in this family love d!cks?!? Son: I do...

A man was almost about to drown. A boat say "Do u need help?" And he said no. After the boat left, another boat came to the sea. And they asked if he needed help. And he said no. And he asked God "Why didn't u help me?" God said "I sended u 2 big boats, you dummy!

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on saint Georges day Irishman: We called our daughter valentine since she was born on valentines day Scotsman: We named our son pancake because he was born on pancake day!

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house, atleat then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious

A little girl said to her mom "MOM MY BUTTS CRACKED KISS IT KISS IT"her mom said "sweetie SHUT UP ITS ALWAYS BEEN THERE" then her daughter died cuz of her melodramaticness.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew tumed up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5.year.old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and ll spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. 'mey chatted with her, let her slt with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little lobs to do here and there to make her feel Important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a poy envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $1 0 'pay ' to the bank the next day to start a savings account When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally Impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'l worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.' 'Oh, my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week, too?' The little girl replied, 'l will, it those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the tucking sheet rock '