The doctor said I have until 230 to live. That’s like 20 years from he I said looks at the time it’s 230.
there was this down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop and he did he pulled someone over and said " know why i pulled you over?" the guy replied " because i was speeding? " he said " no because your black
DISCLAIMER! MY COUSIN TOLD ME THIS:
"I for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. Its been awhile since we had a presidential assassination."
Why was 6 scared of seven? because seven was a unregistered six offender
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant. So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese Restaraunt. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what is going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police says the suspect is armed and on the run.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli
My dad smashed my PS5. So I smashed his wife.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian I ask her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better
Whybare there no pharmacies in Africa? Because you can't have medicine on a empty stomach.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words
Are you getting the knife
Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It’s called finding kemo.
Why does New York have the jets as their football team if those are what took out the twin towers
I was crying when my dad was cutting onions
Onions was such a good dog
What did the titanic say as it was sinking I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge
