The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight. I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater".
I like my people how I like my tea..
In a bag under water.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
When I said I wanted vegetable stew I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
Boiled ham us what you call a dead Russian
I was making holy water and my girlfriend walked in saying what are you doing and I said making holy water and she said how are you making holy water I'm boiling the h#ll out of it
What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water? 199, because, the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real). Get? https://youtu.be/XZQOjp0i35A?t=333
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
how to make holy water 1-grab a pot 2-put water in it 3-set the stove to 420 degrees 4-boil the hell out of it
I have a lot of eggculaint egg puns, get the yolk... oh come on don’t be hard boiled
I was boiling some water and said Water you will be mist
How do you know when I cabbage is boiled?
The wheel chair floats to the top
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
